Bullying At School – See It – Stop It – Report It!
Practical Suggestions to Help Tackle Bullying at School
Bullying - See It - Stop It - Report It!
Bullying can take many forms, none of which are pleasant. After writing this article, I realise some of the reasons why I have written it, and the after-effects of doing so have all come back to me; flooding back to me in fact big time!
I therefore add this little section in retrospect, having written the bulk of the article about bullying at school and in the workplace.
I have realised that I have been a victim of bullying myself at school to quite an extent, and in my early years at work a lot too.
My bullying at work was partly as a result of my work colleagues in early days consisting of some of the same bullying people that I went to school with. So this was “unlucky” to some extent. Also the fact that my Uncle had a position of authority within the company, and people don’t like the managers usually!
A few quick tips here then thrown in before we go on which may be useful when changing schools or a job, or leaving school and starting a job, or at university etc…
Do not allow bullying to follow you through life because people who know you from earlier before in life will gossip about you and pass on the so called “bad press” about you!
Break old bully connections and leave them behind losing touch with them.
Start anew with a new group of people when you move on.
Cut off the old bullies so that new people can judge you for who you are, and not from “hear say”!
Make new friends and re-circulate.
Minimise and modify any behaviour you may think will have exacerbated the bullying
Go to a different school, college, university, workplace and avoid the bullys.
Go to different places for your entertainment, and avoid the bullys.
There will be more tips later to minimise bullying, and they will relate to the above and overlap maybe.
In a nutshell, I was different, and also maybe a “bit of a boffin” at school; as well as having “relatives in the company” when I started work. So none of this helped! Would you believe I also used to talk “posh” (plumb in mouth?) what happened to that? All of this added to the bullying “arsenal” available to my classmates!
Maybe I was an “open goal” to bullying?
The point is whatever I was as regards to bullying, it wasn’t fair, ethical, or right!
It has likely or probably damaged my inner self-confidence, affected my behaviour, and damaged my abilities and my career!
Until now! (I’ll explain at the end of the article, so hold on to your seat!), so back to the article…
Yes you may wonder how, or why so…
As a very analytical person myself, with a high set of realisations in life; I have been fortunate to analyse some of the reasons why I was bullied, the after-effects, and how I came full circle and didn’t let it bother me anymore. In fact it has enabled me to write this article, and to really embrace the subject, as well as vow to never ever be a bully myself, no matter how much a person is bullied by others; I vow to help them if indeed I can!
I’ll even accept that once I had a joke with a colleague at work; and that this went too far and offended them due to repeating it a few times too often; so this proves that not all bullying is deliberate or even intentional. Sometimes the roles do reverse!
We are not all the same, and not everyone can take a joke or some “fun” in quite the same way. If I have ever offended anyone in the past; I take this moment to apologise, and to say that I very much understand your position, or maybe your position in the past! Hopefully this will explain it a little, and provide help to you, and even a way out, or forward.
Types of bullying can take the following forms, which may not be a complete list by any means…
Physical attacks actually on the person being bullied by one other person, or by a gang
Verbal abuse directed to the person being bullied swearing or derogatory comments, slanderous etc.
Racism against their race, colour, etc.
Sexism against their sex, or sexuality, gay, straight, celibate, virgin etc.
Ageism, against their age, old or young
Religious bullying, can be about their faith, or lack of it
Cyber bullying, on the computer, mobile phone, email, network, or on the Internet (social networks i.e. Facebook, Bebo, MySpace etc.)
Gossip spread around to lower a persons appeal or opinion of them to others, influencing what people will think, even if true or untrue
Bullying about peoples looks, or their opinion of their looks
Bullying about peoples weight, overweight, or thin (in their opinion)
Bullying people about their illnesses, taking the fun out of them
Bullying because you don’t fit in, you may be clever, not so clever, different, eccentric, or unusual, maybe “a boffin” type
Bullying because you are not very sporty
Bulling because you are a quiet inoffensive person
Bullying because you get on at work, get promoted, get on with your work etc.
Bullying because of jealousy
Bullying from siblings, relatives, or even parents!
Bullying or being bullied because you don’t actually understand what bullying is, or if you are doing it! (yes it does happen)
Lack of education leading to bullying
A bad background or upbringing causing a person to be a bully, venting anger in other ways
Bullying At School
School and work can be dreadful places to be bullied, you are trapped in one place, nowhere to go, and looking for a way out of it. You have a “captive audience”, and there may appear no way out.
Quoting below…
“The U.S. National Center for Education Statistics notes that while there has been some decline in reported school violence in that country, “students ages 12-18 were victims of about 2 million nonfatal crimes of violence or theft at school in 2001.” There has also been an increase in reports of school bullying.”
After Effects Of Bullying
Another quote…
“A recent survey in Britain indicated that when children are subjected to severe bullying, they are nearly seven times as likely to attempt suicide. The emotional pain that these children suffer is real. A 13-year-old boy who hanged himself left behind a note naming five people who had tormented him and had even extorted money from him. “Please save other children,” he wrote.”
This is a disgrace, I cried when I read this one here! I am showing and quoting the Daily Mirror article below, to show you all how bad it can get.
This needs to be shown to raise awareness of this subject in my opinion…
Isn’t this a disgusting and a disgraceful part of modern life, and an abuse of modern technology?
Extreme Bullying Bethany James Disgraceful Horriffic Injuries
Quoting from the Daily Mail newspaper below…
“The pupil bloodied and battered beyond recognition by teenage girls“
“Her face bloodied and battered, this is Bethany James, the latest victim of the pupil-on-pupil violence blighting Britain’s schools.
The appalling injuries inflicted on the 15-year-old are shocking enough. But what is more horrifying is that they were the work of two teenage girls.
This photo of Bethany was taken in hospital by her mother, Tracey James”
“Bethany had been tormented by bullies at her school in Bradford, West Yorkshire, for four years ? including being subjected to a torrent of insults and abusive text and Internet messages.
But it was as she was leaving a video shop near her home in Undercliffe with friends on September 7 that she was beaten up.
She was kicked and punched to the ground by the girls, whom she recognised from school. They pulled her hair and stamped on her head as she lay helpless on the pavement.
One friend called her mother, who arrived in time to pull one of the girls away from Bethany and drive the injured girl to Bradford Royal Infirmary.
Mrs James, a 46-year-old hairdresser, and her husband Anthony rushed to the hospital.”
“Mr James, 47, a telecoms engineer, said: ‘It was horrific as a parent to see one of your children in a hospital bed covered in blood. I couldn’t believe it. It was only when I got to the hospital that I realised the full extent of the attack.’
Mrs James added: ‘I’ve never seen anything like it. One of the doctors said she looked like she’d been in a car crash.
‘Her nose was split open, her mouth had been kicked and her braces caused lacerations, her lips were badly swollen, she was covered in blood, it was all over her clothes, and lumps of her hair were missing.’
Mrs James claimed teachers had failed to put a stop to the repeated bullying endured by her daughter at Immanuel CE Community College in Thackley.
She said: ‘I’ve been to the school on at least six occasions to tell them Bethany was being bullied, but it has continued.
‘Since the attack she has been going to school for only two hours a day in the isolation unit, while these girls carry on as normal. The school wants her back in class as soon as possible, but who wants to go back to these animals?’
Two weeks on, Bethany is still in pain. She said: ‘My nose is still bruised and hurts at the top. I’m too embarrassed to go out.’
Police said two girls have been questioned as witnesses but no arrests have been made.
Chris Robinson, deputy head at Immanuel College, said: ‘Any bullying that the college becomes aware of is dealt with in a robust manner supported by the additional care we show for each other through our strong Christian ethos.’”
Someone always seems to be singled out for being bullied at school; I know this, because I saw it, and I was a victim of it at times myself. I’ll even admit to being bullied, actually made me want to bully back at others, (yes it does!). (End of Quote.)
Now do you want your young son or daughter, pre-teen, or teenager to go through this?
Of course you don’t if you are a caring, and loving parent or guardian, or have some sense of humnity!
What can we do to help stop bullying? Some practical tips may help below…
Firstly this will help… See It – Stop It – Report It!
While we are on the subject of Childline… they have kindly asked me to add this in, which I of course was glad to do below…
(Just a note that the competition finished in Nov. 2010, and I have left this link up to show the winners and that the campaign is still valid for the positive message that it gives out)
Bullying /ChildLine is in search of young artists or writers
ChildLine and Sugar are offering teens the opportunity to design ChildLine’s next anti-bullying poster.
Stand Up Speak Outis an anti-bullying competition for young people aged 11-18. Now in its 6th year, the competition offers teens the opportunity to design an anti-bullying poster, a t-shirt or write a piece.
Winners in each category will receive £100 Topshop vouchers, their entries will be printed in Sugar magazine and the poster will be distributed to schools nationwide during anti-bullying week (15-19 November 2010).
Ceop says senders can also find they become victims of bullying or harassment.
Meanwhile, a survey by the Beatbullying charity suggested one in five 11 to 17-year-olds has received a sexually explicit or distressing text or e-mail.” (end of quote)
This warns about the dangers you can get into online if you are not careful!
Below there now follows some useful ideas from me too, that I offer as suggestions to help you I sincerely hope…
School Bullying Psychological Effects And Very Upsetting
Do not promote yourself online and seek to much attention; one example is “sexting”, texting or emailing explicit images of yourself or others, which can fall into the wrong hands… warning here on this link below from the BBC… http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12385159
Speak to your teacher and communicate properly and respectfully the problem, but discreetly, so you won’t appear a “grass”, “snitch” or “weak”.
Speak to your parents calmly about it if you can or Childline
If the bullying is serious, or involves weapons or bodily harm, report it to your teacher and headmaster, and even the police may be involved
In between lessons, swiftly move from class to class, avoiding the bullies
Do not loiter in corridors, toilets, refectories, canteens or other restaurant facilities
Go home for lunch or get away at lunchtimes safely, possibly via different exits
Arrive at school “just in time”, and leave promptly
Use different buses if practical
Get a lift from a parent, guardian, or someone who you can trust and respect
Do not give out your mobile number or email. If you have change them now!
Keep away from social networks on the web, or block the people concerned if you know who they are, and how to do so.
Stick to your friends if you have enough of them to help
Have good associations, avoid the bad! Phase them out slowly if required.
Do not aggravate the bully, or give them extra cause to bully you. If you can identify what is causing it, then modify what you do, but as long as it does not stifle your personality, or learning experience at school
Do not boast excessively at school, or make yourself a target
Change schools – sounds drastic, but it can work. When you change, keep a low profile, and be natural
Try to go to classes that are well supervised, and the other students are not allowed to “mess around”
Do not dwell on the past, look past the issue, as often bullying will move from you to elsewhere, or stop
Use reliable prefect pupils at school, and get help from them
Form a group of people with common problems, and work as one against it and bolster each other up
What is this, flashback? Well bullying can cause flashbacks, and I have had my share of them!
I never had confidence to perform in front of an audience – and I found out why recently!…
Once I was bullied at school for a while about how I speak, “day-in-day-out”, relentlessly by one person, and while rehearsing for a play later on I was being ripped about this speech thing all the time so much that I was put off doing the play.
The play was over two nights, and when I was taking part I went on the first night, but not on the second, as my confidence had folded!
The next week I was in “trouble” all week with the teachers and kids for not turning up on the second night!
I realised many years later why I didn’t turn up for this play, and why my confidence was diminished, as I had a flashback in a dream about the same situation, but more up to date, but nonetheless based on this “schoolboy experience”.
This goes to show the far-reaching effect of bullying! You don’t always know of begin to understand the psychological damaged caused to an individual by bullying, which undermines their confidence and abilities!
I can say that thanks to this flashback, I am beginning to understand how the human mind reacts to a situation, and the subliminal effects of life’s experiences, and how they affect human behaviour.
I had forgotten about the experience a long time ago, but something recently triggered it, maybe seeing someone I knew from school who wasn’t actually involved in the bullying, but it did trigger the thoughts I had, even after many years, but however, it did benefit me a lot having the flashback, in that I understood it.
Having this flashback also enabled me to deal with the real problem, so in effect I have “repaired myself” from this problem, as it has come full circle, and I realise the cause of it, and how to bypass this problem in the future!
May you do the same, as you re-discover and reinvent yourself later on in life – life can be wonderful, but life is precious and short, so may this article help you to make the most of it!
Bullying Consequences And Where It Occurs
If you are a bully reading this; Think! What are you doing to this individual? Are you ruining their lives and future? What if it was you on the receiving and of the bullying?
Think about it! We are all human beings; are you really more important than the next person? Is putting this person down really making you feel that good?
Don’t you really have some other problems that need addressing; now do you! Now be brutally honest with yourself for once!
Now don’t you have feelings of alienation, and guilt after bullying someone?
Just think about what you are doing and why; don’t give in to peer pressure!
Peer pressure can be a leading factor in a bullying situation and build up to it.
Do not let yourself be influenced by your peers to engage in damaging and bullying behaviour.
Remember bullies that are divided, often fall, so don’t join up with them
Take the lead in the good, and downplay attempts from peers to rope you in to wrongdoing!
Also bad association with the wrong people can lead to bullying
Lack of parental guidance, and a poor upbringing lacking education can lead to bullying, and bad association
Bullying Shock And Upset
We have discussed bullying at school, how about the workplace?
Bullying At School – See It – Stop It – Report It!
Bullying At School – See It – Stop It – Report It!
Practical Suggestions to Help Tackle Bullying at School
Bullying - See It - Stop It - Report It!
Bullying can take many forms, none of which are pleasant. After writing this article, I realise some of the reasons why I have written it, and the after-effects of doing so have all come back to me; flooding back to me in fact big time!
I therefore add this little section in retrospect, having written the bulk of the article about bullying at school and in the workplace.
I have realised that I have been a victim of bullying myself at school to quite an extent, and in my early years at work a lot too.
My bullying at work was partly as a result of my work colleagues in early days consisting of some of the same bullying people that I went to school with. So this was “unlucky” to some extent. Also the fact that my Uncle had a position of authority within the company, and people don’t like the managers usually!
A few quick tips here then thrown in before we go on which may be useful when changing schools or a job, or leaving school and starting a job, or at university etc…
There will be more tips later to minimise bullying, and they will relate to the above and overlap maybe.
In a nutshell, I was different, and also maybe a “bit of a boffin” at school; as well as having “relatives in the company” when I started work. So none of this helped! Would you believe I also used to talk “posh” (plumb in mouth?) what happened to that? All of this added to the bullying “arsenal” available to my classmates!
Maybe I was an “open goal” to bullying?
The point is whatever I was as regards to bullying, it wasn’t fair, ethical, or right!
It has likely or probably damaged my inner self-confidence, affected my behaviour, and damaged my abilities and my career!
Until now! (I’ll explain at the end of the article, so hold on to your seat!), so back to the article…
Yes you may wonder how, or why so…
As a very analytical person myself, with a high set of realisations in life; I have been fortunate to analyse some of the reasons why I was bullied, the after-effects, and how I came full circle and didn’t let it bother me anymore. In fact it has enabled me to write this article, and to really embrace the subject, as well as vow to never ever be a bully myself, no matter how much a person is bullied by others; I vow to help them if indeed I can!
I’ll even accept that once I had a joke with a colleague at work; and that this went too far and offended them due to repeating it a few times too often; so this proves that not all bullying is deliberate or even intentional. Sometimes the roles do reverse!
We are not all the same, and not everyone can take a joke or some “fun” in quite the same way. If I have ever offended anyone in the past; I take this moment to apologise, and to say that I very much understand your position, or maybe your position in the past! Hopefully this will explain it a little, and provide help to you, and even a way out, or forward.
Types of bullying can take the following forms, which may not be a complete list by any means…
Bullying At School
School and work can be dreadful places to be bullied, you are trapped in one place, nowhere to go, and looking for a way out of it. You have a “captive audience”, and there may appear no way out.
Quoting below…
“The U.S. National Center for Education Statistics notes that while there has been some decline in reported school violence in that country, “students ages 12-18 were victims of about 2 million nonfatal crimes of violence or theft at school in 2001.” There has also been an increase in reports of school bullying.”
After Effects Of Bullying
Another quote…
“A recent survey in Britain indicated that when children are subjected to severe bullying, they are nearly seven times as likely to attempt suicide. The emotional pain that these children suffer is real. A 13-year-old boy who hanged himself left behind a note naming five people who had tormented him and had even extorted money from him. “Please save other children,” he wrote.”
This is a disgrace, I cried when I read this one here! I am showing and quoting the Daily Mirror article below, to show you all how bad it can get.
This needs to be shown to raise awareness of this subject in my opinion…
Isn’t this a disgusting and a disgraceful part of modern life, and an abuse of modern technology?
Extreme Bullying Bethany James Disgraceful Horriffic Injuries
Quoting from the Daily Mail newspaper below…
“The pupil bloodied and battered beyond recognition by teenage girls“
“Her face bloodied and battered, this is Bethany James, the latest victim of the pupil-on-pupil violence blighting Britain’s schools.
The appalling injuries inflicted on the 15-year-old are shocking enough. But what is more horrifying is that they were the work of two teenage girls.
This photo of Bethany was taken in hospital by her mother, Tracey James”
“Bethany had been tormented by bullies at her school in Bradford, West Yorkshire, for four years ? including being subjected to a torrent of insults and abusive text and Internet messages.
But it was as she was leaving a video shop near her home in Undercliffe with friends on September 7 that she was beaten up.
She was kicked and punched to the ground by the girls, whom she recognised from school. They pulled her hair and stamped on her head as she lay helpless on the pavement.
One friend called her mother, who arrived in time to pull one of the girls away from Bethany and drive the injured girl to Bradford Royal Infirmary.
Mrs James, a 46-year-old hairdresser, and her husband Anthony rushed to the hospital.”
“Mr James, 47, a telecoms engineer, said: ‘It was horrific as a parent to see one of your children in a hospital bed covered in blood. I couldn’t believe it. It was only when I got to the hospital that I realised the full extent of the attack.’
Mrs James added: ‘I’ve never seen anything like it. One of the doctors said she looked like she’d been in a car crash.
‘Her nose was split open, her mouth had been kicked and her braces caused lacerations, her lips were badly swollen, she was covered in blood, it was all over her clothes, and lumps of her hair were missing.’
Mrs James claimed teachers had failed to put a stop to the repeated bullying endured by her daughter at Immanuel CE Community College in Thackley.
She said: ‘I’ve been to the school on at least six occasions to tell them Bethany was being bullied, but it has continued.
‘Since the attack she has been going to school for only two hours a day in the isolation unit, while these girls carry on as normal. The school wants her back in class as soon as possible, but who wants to go back to these animals?’
Two weeks on, Bethany is still in pain. She said: ‘My nose is still bruised and hurts at the top. I’m too embarrassed to go out.’
Police said two girls have been questioned as witnesses but no arrests have been made.
Chris Robinson, deputy head at Immanuel College, said: ‘Any bullying that the college becomes aware of is dealt with in a robust manner supported by the additional care we show for each other through our strong Christian ethos.’”
Someone always seems to be singled out for being bullied at school; I know this, because I saw it, and I was a victim of it at times myself. I’ll even admit to being bullied, actually made me want to bully back at others, (yes it does!). (End of Quote.)
Now do you want your young son or daughter, pre-teen, or teenager to go through this?
Of course you don’t if you are a caring, and loving parent or guardian, or have some sense of humnity!
What can we do to help stop bullying? Some practical tips may help below…
Firstly this will help… See It – Stop It – Report It!
At schoolthere are a few things you can do. There is also Childline… http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx
While we are on the subject of Childline… they have kindly asked me to add this in, which I of course was glad to do below…
(Just a note that the competition finished in Nov. 2010, and I have left this link up to show the winners and that the campaign is still valid for the positive message that it gives out)
Bullying /ChildLine is in search of young artists or writers
Stand Up Speak Out competition
ChildLine and Sugar are offering teens the opportunity to design ChildLine’s next anti-bullying poster.
Stand Up Speak Out is an anti-bullying competition for young people aged 11-18. Now in its 6th year, the competition offers teens the opportunity to design an anti-bullying poster, a t-shirt or write a piece.
Winners in each category will receive £100 Topshop vouchers, their entries will be printed in Sugar magazine and the poster will be distributed to schools nationwide during anti-bullying week (15-19 November 2010).
Deadline for entries is Friday 30 July 2010, for more information visit www.sugarscape.com/suso2010“
Thank You
(This is now finished, but left in place to show the winner, and to use a positive message!)
Still contact Childline for help if you need to…
http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx
Quoting below from the BBC news…
“The Ceop film warns children not to take erotic pictures and how to seek help about online activity.
Children and young people are being warned about sending sexually explicit images of themselves to others.
A 10-minute film showing the problems of “sexting” has been created by the Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre (Ceop).
In Exposed, a teenage girl becomes distressed after images she sent to her boyfriend appear on the Internet.
Ceop says senders can also find they become victims of bullying or harassment.
Meanwhile, a survey by the Beatbullying charity suggested one in five 11 to 17-year-olds has received a sexually explicit or distressing text or e-mail.” (end of quote)
Another useful resource here… http://www.ceop.police.uk/safer_internet_day_2011/Resources/
This warns about the dangers you can get into online if you are not careful!
Cyber-Bully-Cyber-Bullying
Bullying is very stressful to be on the receiving end of; and it can lead to post-traumatic stress, and a whole host of problems if left unchecked.
This may be useful… http://stopcyberbullying.org/
FLASHBACK!
What is this, flashback? Well bullying can cause flashbacks, and I have had my share of them!
I never had confidence to perform in front of an audience – and I found out why recently!…
Once I was bullied at school for a while about how I speak, “day-in-day-out”, relentlessly by one person, and while rehearsing for a play later on I was being ripped about this speech thing all the time so much that I was put off doing the play.
The play was over two nights, and when I was taking part I went on the first night, but not on the second, as my confidence had folded!
The next week I was in “trouble” all week with the teachers and kids for not turning up on the second night!
I realised many years later why I didn’t turn up for this play, and why my confidence was diminished, as I had a flashback in a dream about the same situation, but more up to date, but nonetheless based on this “schoolboy experience”.
This goes to show the far-reaching effect of bullying! You don’t always know of begin to understand the psychological damaged caused to an individual by bullying, which undermines their confidence and abilities!
I can say that thanks to this flashback, I am beginning to understand how the human mind reacts to a situation, and the subliminal effects of life’s experiences, and how they affect human behaviour.
I had forgotten about the experience a long time ago, but something recently triggered it, maybe seeing someone I knew from school who wasn’t actually involved in the bullying, but it did trigger the thoughts I had, even after many years, but however, it did benefit me a lot having the flashback, in that I understood it.
Having this flashback also enabled me to deal with the real problem, so in effect I have “repaired myself” from this problem, as it has come full circle, and I realise the cause of it, and how to bypass this problem in the future!
May you do the same, as you re-discover and reinvent yourself later on in life – life can be wonderful, but life is precious and short, so may this article help you to make the most of it!
Bullying Consequences And Where It Occurs
If you are a bully reading this; Think! What are you doing to this individual? Are you ruining their lives and future? What if it was you on the receiving and of the bullying?
Think about it! We are all human beings; are you really more important than the next person? Is putting this person down really making you feel that good?
Don’t you really have some other problems that need addressing; now do you! Now be brutally honest with yourself for once!
Now don’t you have feelings of alienation, and guilt after bullying someone?
Just think about what you are doing and why; don’t give in to peer pressure!
Peer pressure can be a leading factor in a bullying situation and build up to it.
We have discussed bullying at school, how about the workplace?
That is another article here…
http://mark-lawton.com/bullying-workplace/
Above All Else … See It – Stop It – Report It!
I hope I have helped at least someone who has read this article!
I would like to thank you for reading this article.
Please stay and look at my “lighter hearted” articles if you would like, and “visit my sponsors” as they say!