Mark Lawton.Com

Bullying At School And In The Workplace – See It – Stop It – Report It!

Bullying can take many forms, none of which are pleasant. After writing this article,  I realise some of the reasons why I have written it, and the after-effects of doing so have all come back to me; flooding back to me in fact big time!

I therefore add this little section in retrospect, having written the bulk of the article about bullying at school and in the workplace.

I have realised that I have been a victim of bullying myself at school to quite an extent, and in my early years at work a lot too.

In a nutshell, I was different, and also maybe a “bit of a boffin” at school; as well as having “relatives in the company” when I started work. So none of this helped! Would you believe I also used to talk “posh” (plumb in mouth?) what happened to that?

It has likely or probably damaged my inner self-confidence, affected my behaviour, and damaged my abilities and my career!

Until now! (I’ll explain at the end of the article, so hold on to your seat!), so back to the article…

Yes you may wonder how, or why so…

As a very analytical person myself, with a high set of realisations in life; I have been fortunate to analyse some of the reasons why I was bullied, the after-effects, and how I came full circle and didn’t let it bother me anymore. In fact it has enabled me to write this article, and to really embrace the subject, as well as vow to never ever be a bully myself, no matter how much a person is bullied by others; I vow to help them if indeed I can!

I’ll even accept that once I had a joke with a colleague at work; and that this went too far and offended them; so this proves that not all bullying is deliberate or even intentional. Sometimes the roles do reverse!

We are not all the same, and not everyone can take a joke or some “fun” in quite the same way. If I have ever offended anyone in the past; I take this moment to apologise, and to say that I very much understand your position, or maybe your position in the past! Hopefully this will explain it a little, and provide help to you, and even a way out, ot forward.

Types of bullying can take the following forms, which may not be a complete list by any means…

• Physical attacks actually on the person being bullied by one other person, or by a gang
• Verbal abuse directed to the person being bullied swearing or derogatory comments, slanderous etc.
• Racism against their race, colour, etc.
• Sexism against their sex, or sexuality, gay, straight, celibate, virgin etc.
• Ageism, against their age, old or young
• Religious bullying, can be about their faith, or lack of it
• Cyber bullying, on the computer, mobile phone, email, network, or on the Internet (social networks i.e. Facebook, Bebo, MySpace etc.)
• Gossip spread around to lower a persons appeal or opinion of them to others, influencing what people will think, even if true or untrue
• Bullying about peoples looks, or their opinion of their looks
• Bullying about peoples weight, overweight, or thin (in their opinion)
• Bullying people about their illnesses, taking the fun out of them
• Bullying because you don’t fit in, you may be clever, not so clever, different, eccentric, or unusual, maybe “a boffin” type
• Bullying because you are not very sporty
• Bulling because you are a quiet inoffensive person
• Bullying because you get on at work, get promoted, get on with your work etc.
• Bullying because of jealousy
• Bullying from siblings, relatives, or even parents!
• Bullying or being bullied because you don’t actually understand what bullying is, or if you are doing it! (yes it does happen)
• Lack of education leading to bullying
• A bad background or upbringing causing a person to be a bully, venting anger in other ways

School and work can be dreadful places to be bullied, you are trapped in one place, nowhere to go, and looking for a way out of it. You have a “captive audience”, and there may appear no way out.

Quoting below…

“The U.S. National Center for Education Statistics notes that while there has been some decline in reported school violence in that country, “students ages 12-18 were victims of about 2 million nonfatal crimes of violence or theft at school in 2001.” There has also been an increase in reports of school bullying.”

Another quote…

“A recent survey in Britain indicated that when children are subjected to severe bullying, they are nearly seven times as likely to attempt suicide. The emotional pain that these children suffer is real. A 13-year-old boy who hanged himself left behind a note naming five people who had tormented him and had even extorted money from him. “Please save other children,” he wrote.”

This is a disgrace, I cried when I read this one here! I am showing and quoting the Daily Mirror article below, to show you all how bad it can get.

This needs to be shown to raise awareness of this subject in my opinion…

Isn’t this a disgusting and a disgraceful part of modern life, and an abuse of modern technology?

Quoting from the Daily Mail newspaper below…

“The pupil bloodied and battered beyond recognition by teenage girls“

“Her face bloodied and battered, this is Bethany James, the latest victim of the pupil-on-pupil violence blighting Britain’s schools.

The appalling injuries inflicted on the 15-year-old are shocking enough. But what is more horrifying is that they were the work of two teenage girls.

This photo of Bethany was taken in hospital by her mother, Tracey James”

“Bethany had been tormented by bullies at her school in Bradford, West Yorkshire, for four years ? including being subjected to a torrent of insults and abusive text and Internet messages.

But it was as she was leaving a video shop near her home in Undercliffe with friends on September 7 that she was beaten up.

She was kicked and punched to the ground by the girls, whom she recognised from school. They pulled her hair and stamped on her head as she lay helpless on the pavement.

One friend called her mother, who arrived in time to pull one of the girls away from Bethany and drive the injured girl to Bradford Royal Infirmary.

Mrs James, a 46-year-old hairdresser, and her husband Anthony rushed to the hospital.”

“Mr James, 47, a telecoms engineer, said: ‘It was horrific as a parent to see one of your children in a hospital bed covered in blood. I couldn’t believe it. It was only when I got to the hospital that I realised the full extent of the attack.’

Mrs James added: ‘I’ve never seen anything like it. One of the doctors said she looked like she’d been in a car crash.

‘Her nose was split open, her mouth had been kicked and her braces caused lacerations, her lips were badly swollen, she was covered in blood, it was all over her clothes, and lumps of her hair were missing.’

Mrs James claimed teachers had failed to put a stop to the repeated bullying endured by her daughter at Immanuel CE Community College in Thackley.

She said: ‘I’ve been to the school on at least six occasions to tell them Bethany was being bullied, but it has continued.

‘Since the attack she has been going to school for only two hours a day in the isolation unit, while these girls carry on as normal. The school wants her back in class as soon as possible, but who wants to go back to these animals?’

Two weeks on, Bethany is still in pain. She said: ‘My nose is still bruised and hurts at the top. I’m too embarrassed to go out.’

Police said two girls have been questioned as witnesses but no arrests have been made.

Chris Robinson, deputy head at Immanuel College, said: ‘Any bullying that the college becomes aware of is dealt with in a robust manner supported by the additional care we show for each other through our strong Christian ethos.’”

Someone always seems to be singled out for being bullied at school; I know this, because I saw it, and I was a victim of it at times myself. I’ll even admit to being bullied, actually made me want to bully back at others, (yes it does!).

Now do you want your young son or daughter, pre-teen, or teenager to go through this?

Of course you don’t if you are a caring, and loving parent or guardian, or have some sense of humnity!

What can we do to help stop bullying? Some practical tips may help below…

Firstly this will help… See It – Stop It – Report It!

At schoolthere are a few things you can do. There is also Childline… http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

While we are on the subject of Childline… they have kindly asked me to add this in, which I of course was glad to do below…

Bullying /ChildLine is in search of young artists or writers

Stand Up Speak Out competition

ChildLine and Sugar are offering teens the opportunity to design ChildLine’s next anti-bullying poster.

Stand Up Speak Out is an anti-bullying competition for young people aged 11-18. Now in its 6^th year, the competition offers teens the opportunity to design an anti-bullying poster, a t-shirt or write a piece.

Winners in each category will receive £100 Topshop vouchers, their entries will be printed in Sugar magazine and the poster will be distributed to schools nationwide during anti-bullying week (15-19 November 2010).

Deadline for entries is Friday 30 July, for more information visit www.sugarscape.com/suso2010“

Don’t forget to follow the links!

Thank You

Below follows some useful suggestions from me too…

• Speak to your teacher and communicate properly and respectfully the problem, but discreetly, so you won’t appear a “grass”, “snitch” or “weak”.
• Speak to your parents calmly about it
• If the bullying is serious, or involves weapons or bodily harm, report it to your teacher and headmaster, and even the police may be involved
• In between lessons, swiftly move from class to class, avoiding the bullies
• Do not loiter in corridors, toilets, refectories, canteens or other restaurant facilities
• Go home for lunch or get away at lunchtimes safely, possibly via different exits
• Arrive at school “just in time”, and leave promptly
• Use different buses if practical
• Get a lift from a parent,  guardian, or someone who you can trust and respect
• Do not give out your mobile number or email. If you have change them now!
• Keep away from social networks on the web, or block the people concerned if you know who they are, and how to do so.
• Stick to your friends if you have enough of them to help
• Have good associations, avoid the bad! Phase them out slowly if required.
• Do not aggravate the bully, or give them extra cause to bully you. If you can identify what is causing it, then modify what you do, but as long as it does not stifle your personality, or learning experience at school
• Do not boast excessively at school, or make yourself a target
• Change schools – sounds drastic, but it can work. When you change, keep a low profile, and be natural
• Try to go to classes that are well supervised, and the other students are not allowed to “mess around”
• Do not dwell on the past, look past the issue, as often bullying will move from you to elsewhere, or stop
• Use reliable prefect pupils at school, and get help from them
• Form a group of people with common problems, and work as one against it and bolster each other up
• Do not give in to depression, or suicidal tendencies!
• Above all – See It – Stop It – Report It!

Bullying is very stressful to be on the receiving end of; and it can lead to post-traumatic stress, and a whole host of problems if left unchecked.

This may be useful… http://stopcyberbullying.org/

If you are a bully reading this; Think! What are you doing to this individual? Are you ruining their lives and future? What if it was you on the receiving and of  the bullying?

Think about it! We are all human beings; are you really more important than the next person? Is putting this person down really making you feel that good?

Don’t you really have some other problems that need addressing; now do you! Now be brutally honest with yourself for once!

Now don’t you have feelings of alienation, and guilt after bullying someone?

Just think about what you are doing and why; don’t give in to peer pressure!

Peer pressure can be a leading factor in a bullying situation and build up to it.

• Do not let yourself be influenced by your peers to engage in damaging and bullying behaviour.
• Remember bullies that are divided, often fall, so don’t join up with them
• Take the lead in the good, and downplay attempts from peers to rope you in to wrongdoing!
• Also bad association with the wrong people can lead to bullying
• Lack of parental guidance, and a poor upbringing lacking education can lead to bullying, and bad association

We have discussed briefly about school, how about the workplace?

Maybe not all bad at work, but it can and does happen.

OK.. In what ways…

• Bullying from bosses, team leaders and supervisors, shouting, threatening, and even pushing you around
• Blamed for problems caused by others
• Your peers may bully you by making you job hard, and they are not helping you
• Jealousy because you have had a promotion, and people won’t allow you to function in your role effectively
• Loading you up with unfair workloads, and expecting miracles ten minutes later
• Unfairly being discriminated on because of various issues as in the list above
• Unfair dismissal, verbal warnings, or written warnings as a result of being “over-bossed” Threatened with “the sack” constantly.
• Being the constant victim of “office pranks”  or “workshop pranks” that aren’t really a joke!
• Being gossiped about
• Cyber bullying on the ‘phone, email, over the network, or the Internet
• Sexual advances (sexual harassment) continue (either sex) when you have clearly stated boundaries at work, and are quite happy the way you are
• You are continually and always a “dogs body”, and no-one has any respect for you

The list can go on… but what can you do?

Some practical suggestions now follow…

This link here also will help… http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/ResolvingWorkplaceDisputes/DiscriminationAtWork/DG_10026670

Mark Lawton

http://mark-lawton.com

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